Brian Spanner, the man the nationalists love to hate, was right. It was a brilliant weekend.
In case readers are already wondering why, I thought I’d just help jog memories. Social media is so ephemeral, important things can easily got lost, not least when IBM (so I read) are predicting the amount of information in the world is going to double every three weeks, or eleven days, or five hours, or something. Here’s my contribution to the shedload of information you’re enduring today …
The key thing about this weekend in Scotland was that it was two years ago precisely that the nationalists LOST (yes, I am shouting) their once-in-a-generation separation referendum.
So they celebrated in characteristic style.
Down at the bargain-basement end of the movement, the rag-tag-and-bobtail army, sorry battalion, sorry platoon, of activists dressed in the usual array of kilts, blue-painted faces, beards and other symbols of nationalism turned up for get-togethers in George Square and Glasgow Green.
I’ve lost track of who all was involved. The words Hope over Fear or Bairns before Bombs or Flags over People or something seemed to feature large. A depleted company of the Scottish Resistance was spotted wandering around the Square with their Bags for Life before adjourning for a pie and a pint at a nearby hotel. Some Hell’s Angels (sorry, Bikers 4 Indy) lurked at the fringes polluting the Glasgow air with their man-toys. And SNP MSP Joan McThingy got a selfie with three innocent children kitted out by their mis-guided parents in matching blue sweat shirts, each with a large letter on the front – Y-E-S. McThingy dubbed them ‘Yeslings.’ Named person anyone?
It was all very droll.
Meantime, across town, the freedom intelligentsia were having an indoor pow wow with any number of big names to kick off an indyref ‘Reassembly.’ What riches – Janey Godley, Leslie Riddoch, Alex S, Eddi Reader, and as they say lamely at the end of posters for community events ‘… much more.’ No face painting though. That was reserved for the masses (c. 1,500) outside.
Best of all – I know because it was all over the web – was a ‘collective’ of women ‘comedians’ called Witsherface who drew praise from Joanna Cherry, MP and QC no less, for their ‘hilariously irreverent satire.’ Their hilarious irreverence seemed to include reference to Conservative leader Ruth Davidson as ‘Dykey D.’ In the Twitterstorm that followed, Cherry justified her apparent approval of those words by saying lesbians had self-referenced as ‘dykes’ for many a long day, rather missing the point that a bunch of people prancing around on a stage in baseball caps endorsed by her referring to a third party was hardly ‘self’ referencing.
My objection to Witsherface, at least from a two-minute clip on the web, was not offensiveness, for which I have a great affection, mainly when it succeeds in offending people who deserve to be offended. It was that it was just so direly humourless and embarrassingly amateur.
That takes me neatly to the third great event of the weekend, our first minister, who made at least two appearances, neither of them at the celebrations mocked above. First, she and Mr S were spotted at the Davis Cup match, also in Glasgow, looking miserable as sin. Whether that was because the photographer caught them in an unguarded moment, Speaker Bercow from Westmonster was sat next to them, Andy was losing, or she had to endure an event badged ‘GB’ we shall never know.
Her second appearance was on the front page of the Sunday Herald:
As people say when they’re short of space on Twitter ‘Wow! Just wow!’ That’s ‘overdrive’?
If that’s the case, all those blue-painted, flag-waving horny-handed sons of toil (or not) and i-pad wielding brains of the movement might as well pack up and go home. The separation game really is up if she believes that. Stand down the Growth Commission, bin the National Survey.
The final joyous event of the weekend was the man who is to Nicola Sturgeon as Ted Heath was to Maggie Thatcher, father of the nation Alex Salmond, who not only got fifteen minutes at the indy ‘Reassembly’(most punters speaking only get ten) but appeared in the weekend prints opining that his successor should call a second separation referendum by 2018 regardless of the polls.
That’s the polls showing only a minority of Scots want another referendum soon (37% in a recent YouGov poll).
Once in a generation, eh? What a parcel of rogues in a nation.
Oh, I forget the other brilliant thing about the weekend. I celebrated why I think it’s good to be British.
Have a nice week.