Hello Scotland! Notes on my return to the best small country in the world

Hello Scotland! I’m just back from a week in sunny Spain (as if you care) where my stumbling through the pages of the El Pais newspaper reminded me that their constitutional court continues to block all the Catalan separatists’ attempts to hold another referendum about breaking up the country they agreed to be part of when it emerged from dictatorship to democracy – an advantage of a written constitution and a court to judge governmental actions against.

I return to be reminded that, notwithstanding all that stuff about Westmonster, we’ve got a UK supreme court that’s just endorsed the Scottish government’s named person scheme. Hurray! That’s what John Swinney said on the news last night. Only some fine tuning to be done on the tediously technical issue of sharing information about children across agencies.

What? That’s not quite right? The court said it ‘unanimously allows the appeal’? And the provisions in the Act are ‘defective … not within the legislative competence of the Scottish Parliament’? Oh dear, John, you naughty boy! You’re not spinning the truth to the extent that you’re, no I can hardly bring myself to use the words, perpetrating a porkie, are you?

Meantime, one of the first tweets I see on my return is from an SNP MSP (John Mason) on holiday in the West of Ireland:

Irish roads much better since my last holiday here. Using money for roads is wiser than for nuclear weapons?

Where do you start with that one, except to assign it to the file marked ‘False Comparisons’? Very false.

The only thing it shows is that, even on holiday, some people are obsessed by one thing.

As do reports of ‘Yes groups’ reforming (that’s re-forming, not making themselves better). Can it be true, or was it one group of uber-optimists only? Aux armes, mes amis! To the barricades! Freedom is but one step away. The revolution (sorry, indyref2) is here now, tomorrow, next week, next year, next parliament. The fundamentals of the Scottish economy have improved so much since 2014 that, that … oh sorry, wrong narrative. As you were.

Still, planning for the great day must be proceeding apace (part of the great SNP summer review?) since elsewhere I see the cost of an independent Scottish currency has been priced at a mere £10,000,000,000, whatever that means. And, get this, there are plans for a new, independent Scottish stock exchange. All that spare cash slopping around not only Scotland but the whole world desperately seeking investment opportunities unavailable anywhere else on international capital markets. Coulter’s Candy plc anyone?

Have I missed anything? After all I’ve been away for a whole seven days and at the rate nationalists invent causes celèbres there must have been so many more. Can’t say I care that much. Most of it’s posturing or fantasy.

Anyhow, my lawn’s grown so much in the wet weather of the last week that it needs some severely aggressive mowing. That’s something you don’t have to do in Spain. See you soon.

PS – how’s that nationalist alliance with freedom-loving Catalonia going? Or has it been excised from the record books in favour of some hoped-for Spanish support for early and seamless entry to the EU? Don’t bother, it won’t work.

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